4 Times Kurt Was Too Scared to Ask Blaine to Get Back Together
by surefireglambert
Summary: ...and one time he wasn't. Klaine. ONESHOT.


**The first "story" is taken from 4x15 "Girls (And Boys) on Film" (so possible spoiler alert) and the idea of Kurt and the group watching **_**Moulin Rouge**_**. There's similar dialogue to the episode, but that's where the references to canon end, as in the "Come What May" scene from the episode doesn't exist in this story.**

**DISCLAIMER: Glee and all of its affiliated characters/scenes belong to Ryan Murphy.**

* * *

_**1.**_

He knew as soon as the movie had been inserted into the DVD player that it was a bad idea.

It had always been _their_ movie. They had to have watched it countless times, recited it word-for-word together and sang all the songs at the top of their lungs. Especially…

_No Kurt, you definitely can't think about that. Not if you're going to keep your cool with Adam sitting right next to you_. Kurt bit his lip and crossed his arms over his chest, trying to relax into the couch. He saw Adam look over at him and smile at him in his peripheral vision and a knot started to form in his stomach.

_Just relax Hummel. You can handle it. Just think of someone else, something else, __anything else__._

**x.x.x.x**

The request proved to be harder than he'd imagined.

By the end of the movie, as the beginning notes of _Come What May_ began to ring from the speakers, Kurt could feel the tears coming and he didn't have a way to stop them. He thought of Blaine, how they'd always dreamed of their wedding with this song playing for their first dance. He thought of the conversation they had had, about how singing this song with another person was more intimate in Kurt's mind than any sexual act. That was still true, Kurt couldn't deny it, and he couldn't get the image of Blaine at Mr. Schue's wedding out of his head as the song and movie continued; how undeniably attractive he looked in his tuxedo and bowtie that Kurt had missed so much, how the muscles in his chest and arms were emphasized in the white t-shirt he was wearing in the hotel room after they… Kurt refused to let himself think about it. He felt the first tear slip down his cheek and he moved to hastily wipe it away while simultaneously trying not to wake Adam, who'd fallen asleep on his shoulder.

As the final notes of the song echoed throughout the room, Kurt was taking deep breaths in an attempt to not become a sobbing mess. The others began to stir and Adam lifted his head off Kurt's shoulder, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He caught sight of Kurt's face and concerned flooded his features.

"Kurt, are you okay?" he asked, worry evident in his voice.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. It's just… my contacts are bothering me, is all," Kurt deadpanned, hoping that neither Rachel nor Santana would point out the fact that Kurt didn't wear contacts.

"Kurt, I didn't know you wore contacts—"

"Yes Rachel. I have astigmatism," he explained, lying with ease as Adam reached for his bag.

"I think I have some contact lens solution in my bag somewhere…"

"Don't worry about it," Kurt assured him, suddenly nervous. "I just think I'm going to take them out and go to bed."

"Oh Kurt, are you sure? I was going to suggest we watch—"

"Yes Rachel, I'm sure. Goodnight everyone." He quickly stood up and made his way to his bedroom, shutting the curtain behind him.

**x.x.x.x**

He couldn't sleep all night.

Half the night was spent lying awake trying to get himself to stop thinking about Blaine and _Come What May_ and the other half was spent reaching for his phone, and then scolding himself for wanting to text Blaine and beg for him to take him back.

_You can't do it that way Kurt_, his subconscious told him. _If you're positive you want to do it, you have to call him or preferably see him in person_. This led to a whole new set of problems because Kurt then had to tell himself that _calling_ Blaine to beg for his forgiveness at three o'clock in the morning was a bad idea.

The next morning, when he deemed it appropriate to call Blaine, he picked up his phone and dialed the familiar number with shaking hands. At the sound of the first ring, he felt his stomach churn and a nauseous feeling settled into the pit of his stomach. By the second ring, he'd ended the call and thrown the phone across the room, fear taking over every fiber of his being. When he heard the device vibrate, he ran over to where he'd thrown it and unlocked it. It was a text from Blaine.

_Hey did you just call me?_

_Now's your chance Kurt. _But he couldn't do it. Instead, his cowardly self typed out a message.

_Sorry, pressed your name in my contacts instead of my dad's._

_**2.**_

As soon as Kurt's last class of the day ended and he was walking out of the building into the spring-in-New-York air on his way back to the apartment, he pulled out his phone and dialed his father's number for their daily talk. But what greeted him on the other end of the line wasn't at all what he'd expected.

"_Oh come on! It's like you're a psychic or something!_ Hey Kurt, how's it going?" Burt chuckled as the noise of what Kurt could tell was a sporting event sounded in the background.

"Hey Dad," he said, a smile on his face. "How've you been?"

"Pretty good Kid. Just went to the doctor's yesterday for a check-up and he said that I'm doin' real well. Apparently I'm reacting well to the treatments and meds and that at the rate we're going, chemo isn't something I'll need to worry about, at least not for a while."

"That's amazing Dad," Kurt said, his smile widening at the amazing news. "I'm glad you're making sure to take care of your—" He was cut off at the sound of a loud groan and Burt cheers and laughter.

"Fork it over Anderson, I told you the Cavaliers had no chance of beating the Lakers by _twenty_," Burt said, his voice muffled but still clear enough for Kurt's heart to start beating faster at the sound of Blaine's last name.

"D-Dad," Kurt said. "Are you with _Blaine_?"

"Yeah, he came over to watch the Cavaliers game after school. And he _obviously_ doesn't know enough about either team to make a proper bet that even had a _chance_ of benefitting him." Kurt could hear the grin in his father's voice and he could only imagine Blaine was sticking his tongue out at the man at that very moment.

"That is so not true," Blaine's voice said in the background. "And hey Kurt!"

Kurt had to resist putting his hand over his chest in an effort to keep his heart from out onto the sidewalk. The sound of Blaine saying his name was music to his ears and he had the sudden urge to say what he'd wanted to for weeks now. He wanted to ask for his dad to put Blaine on, and then Kurt wanted to pour his heart out to the man, telling him how sorry he was that he'd waited so long and ask if he'd take him back. But he couldn't get himself to form the words. The thought alone brought a very familiar sick feeling to his stomach. He'd find a better way to do it than when the two (who acted even more like father and son when they were watching a silly sporting event) were engrossed in a basketball game.

"O-Oh, okay. Well I'll just let you two get back to your game then. I love you Dad." He paused. "T-Tell Blaine I said h-hi."

Kurt could hear the smile in Burt's voice when he spoke. "I will Kurt. Love you too."

_**3.**_

"I'll call you later," Adam said as he pulled Kurt into a hug before they parted ways. Kurt smiled half-heartedly as he headed in the opposite direction on his way to his next class. He stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted a friend of his who led campus tours for prospective students. But it wasn't the sight of his friend that shocked him, nor was it the students or parents in the group. Okay, well it was _one particular student_ in the group that caught his attention.

Blaine, with his mother in tow, were standing on the outskirts of the group, both seeming to be listening intently to what Kurt's friend Asher had to say. Kurt continued standing there, staring at Blaine, until Asher began to lead the group in his direction and Blaine turned and caught Kurt's eye. A surprised look that Kurt assumed was very similar to the one he was wearing covered his face and his mother noticed, following his gaze until it too landed on Kurt.

"Hello Kurt. What a nice surprise," Mrs. Anderson said, a smile gracing her tanned skin that reminded Kurt so much of Blaine and where he obviously got a lot of his physical features from.

"I d-didn't know you guys were coming to tour the school," Kurt stuttered.

"Yeah, it's spring break at McKinley, so we thought it'd be the perfect time to scope out the school since Blaine just sent in his application." A half smile pulled at Blaine's lips as his mother squeezed his shoulder. "Hey, maybe you could give us a personal tour after we're done here? These organized tours are great, but there are a lot of things Blaine wanted to see that we don't think will be discussed—"

"_Mom_," Blaine groaned, rolling his eyes. "Kurt probably has more important things to do than show us around."

"I'd love to," Kurt blurted out. "I-I mean, I'm headed to my last class of the day. I can meet you in the lobby, where you probably started, and show you anything you want to see."

"Oh, that'd be so nice of you. Thank you." Blaine's mother leaned in and gave Kurt a hug, which Kurt returned.

"It's my pleasure Mrs. Anderson."

"Oh please, I go a few months without seeing you and you call me _Mrs. Anderson_?" She laughed lightly. "You know I insist that you call me Linda."

"I'm sorry Linda; it's just been a while." Kurt laughed, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach and the blood he knew was rushing to his face as a beautiful smile graced Blaine's face. Kurt bid them goodbye and headed in the opposite direction to his next class, a large smile on his face.

**x.x.x.x**

Kurt met the two a little over an hour later and spent the next several hours showing them the ins and outs of the school, sharing casual conversation with the two that he'd missed in the time he and Blaine had been broken up. By the time Linda realized the time, Kurt had had such a nice time talking with the two, he'd practically forgotten that he and Blaine were actually broken up.

That is, until Linda excused herself, insisting the two stay put in the lobby while she went to the dean's office to ask for a train schedule. As soon as the two were alone, an aura of awkwardness filled the air.

"Thank you so much again for showing us around Kurt," Blaine said, a gracious smile on his face. "This place is absolutely beautiful."

"It really is," Kurt murmured, willing the butterflies and blush to go away before he embarrassed himself.

"I really hope I get accepted here. I think my audition went well and I can't stand the thought of not being in New York next year with—" He stopped and Kurt could see the blood rushing to the man's face. "I mean I can't stand the thought of not being in New York next year."

Kurt chuckled nervously and he knew at that moment that it was time. It was time to tell Blaine how he felt, now that the idea of him coming to New York and going to the same school as him was becoming more and more real. But before he could say anything, he felt a hand on his shoulder and he saw Blaine's embarrassed look turn into a wide-eyed hurt one.

"Hey there," Adam whispered in his ear and Kurt felt chills shoot down his spine, but not the good kind; not the kind he'd always gotten when Blaine would whisper in his ear from behind like that. These were ones of guilt for being the reason behind the look on Blaine's face that looked like he was trying to prevent himself from crying. "You ready to go?"

"Uh y-yeah," Kurt answered, the idea of confessing his feelings for Blaine in front of Adam, now that the moment was gone, suddenly petrifying him. "I'm gonna wait until Blaine's mom comes back though."

"You can go. I don't need to be babysat," Blaine spoke up, most all traces of hurt gone from his face and replaced with a combination of sadness and anger. There was a harsh tone to his voice that made Kurt's eyes widen in surprise.

"I didn't mean it like that," Kurt began to clarify but Blaine held up his hand.

"Unless you wanted to say whatever it was you were thinking about before we were interrupted, I don't have anything else to say." Blaine crossed his arms, suddenly looking so much younger than his eighteen years.

_Here's your chance Kurt. Say it. Just say it. _But he couldn't. The fear was too strong and Kurt suddenly felt like he was about to throw up.

"Goodbye Blaine," he said, turning and walking away quickly, tears forming in his eyes. Adam trailed behind him and Kurt could feel Blaine's eyes following him, but he couldn't force himself to look back and see the inevitable hurt on his face, especially when Adam caught up with him and took hold of his trembling hand.

_**4.**_

"Goodbye Kurt," Adam said solemnly, shutting the apartment door behind him quietly. Once the door was shut completely and he heard the footsteps disappear down the hall, Kurt burst into tears. He didn't even know why he was crying; it wasn't as if the two had been serious, or even technically _dating_. He just knew that Adam had, for all intents and purposes, just broken up with him, he was crying and needed to talk to _someone_, but Santana and Rachel were out shopping. He reached for his phone and dialed the first number that came to mind.

"Hello?" a voice answered on the third ring.

"Blaine," Kurt said, hiccupping as soon as the name was out of his mouth. He heard Blaine draw in a breath.

"Kurt, are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked and Kurt could detect a hint of panic in his voice that Blaine was trying to hide for his sake.

"I-I'm fine," Kurt stuttered. "I-I just…"

"Shh," Blaine said soothingly. "Hon, as long as you're safe, you don't have to explain anything right now. Just cry if you need to okay? I'll be right here."

Kurt burst into tears and as he pulled his legs to his chest and held the phone to his ear, he could hear Blaine whispering sweet nothings to him, telling him that it was going to be okay.

After about five minutes, when Kurt felt he could carry on a conversation, he spoke up. "Th-Thank you for waiting."

"Of course," Blaine said. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Kurt hesitated for a moment, and then told him everything. He told him about Adam, since Kurt realized he'd never actually told Blaine who he was, about how they met and how they sort of dated, noticing how Blaine drew in a breath when he used the word _dated_. He told him about how Adam had just come over and out of the blue said that he didn't think he could do this anymore because he didn't think Kurt's heart was in it like his was.

"Well, is that true?" Blaine questioned. Kurt sighed.

"I don't know. I liked him; he was my first friend other than Rachel at NYADA, but… I don't know if I ever truly liked him like _that_." He paused before saying what he was actually thinking. "This whole thing was just a flashback to when you and I broke up. I got that feeling again like I wasn't good enough. And it just hit me hard I guess."

Kurt heard Blaine take a deep, shaky breath and let it out slowly. "Kurt, you have no idea how sorry I am—"

"Blaine, I know," Kurt interrupted gently. "And I didn't say that to make you feel guilty or anything, I just…" He trailed off as the familiar feeling filled his stomach. It was the perfect moment to tell him. It was the perfect moment to tell him the detailed reason Adam had broken up with him that even Adam didn't know. Kurt knew that he had become so distracted with thoughts of Blaine lately, especially since he'd shown Blaine and his mother around at NYADA a couple weeks before, that Adam didn't want to waste his time chasing someone who didn't see any potential in a relationship. And while Adam hadn't said any of that, since he didn't know Kurt's true feelings, Kurt knew in his heart that that was the reason. The moment was finally right.

But as Kurt opened his mouth to say the words, no actual words came out. He tried again, but still nothing. At that moment, Rachel and Santana came bursting in through the door, loud enough that Blaine heard them through the phone.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Rachel and Santana are home," Kurt answered. "I should… I should go. It's my night to make dinner."

"O-Oh okay," Blaine said, disappointment evident in his voice. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure." Kurt stood up as the girls made their way to the living room area, throwing their shopping bags ceremoniously onto the couch. "Thank you so much for listening Blaine. I really appreciate it."

"Anytime," Blaine replied. The line was silent for a second and Kurt ached to say something, anything, to reassure Blaine that he really did love and _really_ wanted to get back together with him. But he couldn't and he ended up just ending the call, shoving the phone in his back pocket and trudging guiltily into the kitchen to preheat the oven.

_**1.**_

Kurt was lounging in his bed one night in the middle of April on his computer when he heard the sound ring out from his speakers signaling he had a request for a Skype chat. He glanced at the username and felt his heart rate increase tenfold when he saw who the caller was. He accepted the call and grinned immediately when he saw Blaine's face on his screen.

"Hey there," Blaine said, smiling and running a hand through his loose curls. "Sorry to call so late but it's been a hectic day and I have something I really want to tell you."

"Don't worry about it; I don't have to go to class until late morning tomorrow." Kurt smiled as he watched Blaine practically bounce up and down on his bed in what he assumed was excitement.

"Okay good. So…" Blaine trailed off and held up an envelope in front of the camera. "I got the mail today and saw this." Kurt's heart started to beat even faster as he caught a glimpse of who the envelope was from, but he stayed quiet. "So I opened it and…" He opened the envelope and pulled out a sheet of paper, holding it up to the camera close enough so Kurt could read it. He waited a matter of three seconds before he exclaimed, "I got in! I was accepted into NYADA!"

Kurt's whole face lit up. "Blaine, that's absolutely _amazing_! I'm so proud of you."

"I'm so excited to be able to be in New York next year, it's always been my dream to get out of Ohio and pursue music and I'm just so _happy_," Blaine said, words tumbling freely out of his mouth at a rapid speed. Kurt laughed at his childlike excitement, but understood the feeling completely.

"So are you going to show up at our door and say you now live with us like Santana did?" Kurt asked before he realized what he was doing. A surprised look took over Blaine's features before an almost shy expression replaced the surprised one.

"I-I wasn't sure what kind of terms we were on or how comfortable you'd be with that," Blaine admitted.

"Blaine, you're always welcome to live here. I wouldn't want you rooming at NYADA and having the three of us live here." Kurt watched as a relieved and happy expression covered Blaine's face.

"Thank you so much. That means a lot."

"Of course." Kurt made the mistake of looking into Blaine's hazel eyes as he spoke and suddenly it was as if all of his self-control was gone and he had no control over what he was saying. He blamed that for what he said next. "Blaine, I really miss you."

Blaine looked momentarily confused. "I miss you too, Kurt."

Kurt took a deep breath, realizing that, if Blaine was going to be coming to New York next year and living with them, he should man up and tell him what he'd been wanting to tell him for months now. _It's now or never. _"No, not like that Blaine. I miss… I miss being with you." He paused, letting his words hover in the air for a moment. "I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and… I really want to get back together with you. If you still want to of course, which I totally get if you don't want to because I've waited a long time and I've wanted to ask if we could get back together for a long time now, but I've been scared that you might not want to or that you'd moved on and oh _God,_ I probably already missed my chance and you're probably dating someone in Ohio right now or—"

"Kurt, Kurt," Blaine interrupted, laughing. "I'm not dating anyone. I haven't dated anyone or even gone on a date with anyone since we broke up. I couldn't… I missed you too much. And I don't think I'd _ever_ have been able to completely move on from you Kurt… I was convinced, heck I'm _still_ convinced, that you're it for me."

Kurt's face lit up at the statement as he felt tears of joy cloud his vision. "Oh Blaine, I know you're it for me; there's no doubt in my mind. But to be clear, before I say anymore ridiculously sappy or cliché things, we're officially back together?"

Blaine laughed again. "Kurt, I've been waiting to hear you say those words since the moment we broke up. Of_ course_ we're back together."

Kurt squealed, eliciting another laugh from Blaine that made Kurt's heart swell with joy.

The two spent the next three hours talking and making up for lost time together. Kurt explained how his realization had come about and the real deal with Adam, per Blaine's request, but the rest of the conversations were much lighter. Both men couldn't remember a time they'd been happier than those few hours where they simply talked and truly enjoyed each other's company for the first time in far too many months.

When the two finally agreed that they needed to get some sleep since they both had classes the next day, Kurt said one last time how proud he was of Blaine and they exchanged "I love you"s before ending the call. They both fell asleep that night with huge smiles on their faces and each other on their minds.


End file.
